As what you see from this remaining note on this blog, means that I’m no longer active on Tumblr. In these pasts days everything went downhill for me.
I made a lot of of mistakes which I can’t fix anymore. I’ve pretty much hurted many and hurted myself in return without really realizing it and I just want forgiveness from all of you.
I know an apologize wont be sufficient, especially for my eyes since the damage I’ve done is to much to even fix with with an apology.
I’ve lost many people whom I thought we could get along. My stupidity destroyed everything. My emotions where not to stop and I let myself go…
I wanet to state my point at times. In my past I kept getting silenced by many and was never able to express myself. Everything is bottled up inside of me and it’s hard to let go of it or even control it. Which in this case I sound offensive and outspoken. I thought by proving something I might change. But I was wrong. I wanet to become someone, to get reconized, but I was all wrong. I’ve only hurted myself more and more. There are things I like and don’t like but yet again for some you must support everything to even stay on this site.
It got to overwhelming for me. I was to focused with myself. I still disliked the fact that people come and go without telling you why and what? I feel insecure and guilty and let myself down. No one ever came to me, except a few, telling me what’s up or if there was something. No one.
Then later the drama came in and I just wanet to end it all. There aswell, many where disspointed of my actions. I’m sorry if I’m not perfect like other people I’ve met. I’m sorry if I can’t let go of all the bs this site brought up. But I was selfish and ignorant at many points. I thought I could escape from my personal problems. Trying to find a way to shake my past off.
I just really wanet that this drama stopped, but it went on and on and I coulnd’t sit here anymore and just watch. I kept getting more and more deppresive over the fact that people had to sj here, sj there, abelist, homophobia etc and all the other existing names around. Pointing at eachother and instead of keeping it for yourself or just to ignore it you, including me and we all continued.
Sadly I’m not a person that can keep things to myself. I need to let it out, even if it’s hurtfull to others but I’ve seen my mistake…
people missunderstand me constantly. it’s not my fault..I’m terrible at it and can’t bring up the words I need….idk I just can’t ever type well..
I never deserved all these followers, I’ve disappointed plenty of people and disappointed myself either. That’s why I’ve choosen to leave. I don’t deserve the support of all these awesome known bloggers. I looked up to many, trying to follow they’re footsteps but I’ve only ruined. For me and for many
Staying here would cause more trouble and I can’t look at anyones blog anymore in the thought I may just do another stupidity.
I thought I could have stayed longer…but I just can’t…I thought I was able to celebrate with others their birtdays and mine included but I guess not. It’s getting to much me I’m sorry.
You can call it selfishness or stupidity…but this is my voice and I really can’t anymore. I don’t want to cause more damage…
I should have ignored it all..I should have not payd attention to it. I shouldln’t have bothered about it..
Apologize for my english
So for now it’s a goodbye…Perhaps I shall return one day…and return with optimism and with more flash fire art. But for now..this sailor will sink along her OTP and the rest of the blog
Goodbye Casino!Scout, Goodbye Flash fire shipper
I shall miss you all